Copyright (c) 2009 Vin DiCarlo
When I was in online colleges and universities, there was this girl…we’ll call her Julie.
I met her in one of my classes, and we’d always sit together and joke about the professor and write doodles on each other’s notes.
As I got to know her, I could feel myself falling for her. She was smart, funny, and beautiful.
That was the only class I recall looking forward to all throughout my undergraduate years.
I would actually take a shower and dress really nice before class. I’d memorize jokes and stories from the weekend (that were mostly made up) that I’d tell her to make her attracted to me.
After sometime, she began to confide in me. We’d study together, and end up talking about dating and relationships.
She was seeing this guy, who, at the time, seemed like a total jerk. She’d tell me all the things he supposedly did (or didn’t do) and I’d just end up thinking,
“What does she see in him? Can’t she see how much I like her? I would treat her so much better.”
Eventually, I think she caught on that I was in love with her, and we started seeing less and less of each other, which made me act more desperate during the times I DID see her.
And then she disappeared from my life.
This was one of many sad situations I went through with the opposite gender.
I know a lot of guys can relate to this, even guys who are players, and are “good” with women.
There’s always that one girl, with the asshole boyfriend…you think she’s a good girl, and deserves to be treated like a queen.
And you’d jump at the chance to be the woman’s servant.
At some point, I made the following realization:
“I’m smart. I’ve won at many other things. I have a Master’s Degree in Physics, for example. I run my own company (a cleaning company I started out of online colleges and universities). If I can figure out physics and how to run a business, I can figure out women. There are so many guys who are better with women, but with smaller I.Q.’s than me. I can do this.”
So I began devouring every piece of information on women, dating, and getting laid, that I could get my hands on.
I was a glutton for information (and punishment)…
I realized I needed to actually put into practice what I learned. I began approaching women EVERYWHERE.
On the street, in stores, cafes, malls, bars…
I got rejected sooo many times. But I learned from everything, and eventually became immune to rejection (although it took some time, and a lot of punishment).
At some point, I became adept at approaching, and engaging women in almost any scenario.
I was pretty impressed with myself.
But then I take these women for a date, and the same old crap would keep repeating itself.
I was the one CALLING HER.
I was the one buying HER DINNER.
I was the one trying to get a goodnight kiss FROM HER.
I was the one pursuing to get in bed, FROM HER.
It never dawned on me that my very WANTING, and my mental effort to GET these things was the very reason I wasn’t experiencing the reality I wanted.
Mentally I went back and forth:
“Maybe I’m just not good enough for these women. Maybe I’m not that totally handsome or funny enough, and I will always have to chase. Some guys have all the luck. I should just lower my standards and accept my place in life.”
And then I’d think…
“I see these other clowns getting HOT women. I see these guys being total jerks – cheating, lying, being abusive and insulting – and their girlfriends continue to bend over backwards to please them.
WHY???
You’ve probably said these very same things to yourself.
And when you think about it, it’s even more infuriating to know that these other guys aren’t even grateful for